Did you get my text? Did you get my email? Did you get my phone call?
(Now I promised you gals and guys a post on mindfulness on the first week of each month, but actually these four agreements have to do with mindfulness.
And mindfulness has to do with this post on one of the agreements, and this post has to do with the electronic media or with electronic communication.)
You may have already guessed this, but it hit home with me earlier this week that just because I've pressed the send button on an electronic device--my telephone or computer--doesn't mean that the person immediately got my message or even that s/he got my message at all!
Unless/until I get a response back.
In this age of immediate gratification, how many electronic ways are there for us to send a message? (1) An answering machine or voice mail, (2) email, (3) text, (4) facebook--both privately and publicly, (5) fax, and many others that I can't even name and/or don't use.
And in each of these ways of sending a message to someone, I "assume" that the receiver got my message, and most times I "assume" that s/he got it immediately. And sometimes I don't necessarily expect a response! Again, I just "assume" that they got my message.
Well, that's one of the agreements that would make this a better world that Don Miguel Ruiz writes about in his famous book The Four Agreements: Don't make assumptions.
Think how much misunderstanding, sadness, and drama could be avoided if we do not assume that the person got our text or email or voice message. Or that s/he got it immediately.
I was with a friend this weekend that I had texted several weeks ago. I said to him, "Why didn't you answer by text about . . . ?" To which he responded, " I did answer your text."
I had not gotten his reply. It wasn't any big deal. I had just thought that he was being rude not to answer and that thought had taken up space in my mind for a few minutes. So in a way, it was a big deal--my thinking less of him and that thought that he didn't respond taking up space in my mind.
Also this weekend another friend said to me, "Did you get my email about . . . ?" To which I responded, "Yes, I did, and I emailed you back." Then she said, "I didn't get your email."
So in being mindful and in assuming nothing, what I am now going to start doing when I message someone on any electronic device is (1) Ask for a response--such as say "Please let me know that you got this." and (2) Give a response as immediately as possible to someone's message to me--even if it's just one word, like "Okay" or "Later" (or to hit the "like" button on facebook. Because "like" doesn't necessarily mean that you actually do like it, but that you saw or even that you support that person's status.)
That way, I can avoid misunderstanding, sadness, and drama. I will be mindful, and I will not make assumptions. In this age of electronic messaging, I will take the time to respond.
